Why I Coach

There was a time in my early adolescence where I felt lost, confused, scared, ashamed, and embarrassed. My mother was an alcoholic, and it was scary for a 12-year-old boy. It was scary coming home from school and finding your mom passed out on the living room floor. It was embarrassing having friends over because you never knew if your mom was coherent enough to have a conversation that made sense. It was frightening having her drive me and my younger brother and sister around as she consistently drove intoxicated.

My mom, as much as she loved us with all of her heart, made every day really scary. I constantly lived in a state of threat.

So as a result, (whether conscious or subconscious I’m still not sure), I created as much structure and control in my personal life to combat the lack of stability I had from my Mom.

I wasn’t naturally gifted in anything, I just chose to out work everyone to create some semblance of me looking like I had all my shit together despite how fucking scared I was all the time. I was a straight A student from middle school through high school. I would skip hanging out with my girlfriend on a Saturday night because I needed to study. I worked my ass off in every sport I played, including the weight room. I was never the most talented kid on the team, but I worked harder than everyone else, and by the end of every season I was usually the team’s MVP.

Ultimately, I strived to present myself as the exact opposite person that I felt when I was a scared, embarrassed, and vulnerable 12 year old.

My Mom passed away in the spring of 2002. I was 16 years old, and I was torn up. I felt guilty about how I avoided her, how I treated her when she was drunk, and how I pushed myself away as much as possible when she needed me the most. I didn’t visit her when she was in treatment because I was a self-absorbed pissed off kid.

And in all honesty, as much as it pains me to admit it, there was a huge sense of relief upon her passing. I knew what to expect when I came home. I didn’t worry about her driving my 9 year old brother and his friends around.

I still carry guilt about how I felt this way.

Upon graduating high-school, I went on to play football and run track at Linfield College where I earned my BA in Psyche. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I graduated from college, but I thought that studying Psychology would create an avenue to learn about and help people.

If I could develop some introspection into people’s behaviors, maybe I would be able to have a better understanding of how I could be of service to help them. Ultimately, me degree taught me to be empathetic.

It taught me to put myself in other people’s shoes and try and see the world from their perspective.

My senior thesis ended up exploring the power of perception and how it shapes our reality. Writing that paper was an “aha” moment for me. I understood that we have the power to choose. It was one of the most empowering realizations I’ve ever had.

We have the ability to wake up every day and decide how we are going to behave, and how we are going to respond to the daily obstacles that present themselves. I am a firm believer that attitude is everything. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.

Every obstacle is an opportunity – and as a coach, I have the opportunity to empower people’s minds with this belief on a daily basis.

I choose to coach because I was a scared little boy at one point who needed someone to help me build myself up.

I choose to coach because I can first hand account for the power of choosing what type of life people have the ability to lead if they stand firm in their commitment to themselves.

I choose to coach because I know that everyone has a story similar to mine in their childhood that directly effects how people lead their lives today whether they are aware of it or not.

I choose to coach because me helping people become better versions of themselves gives me more personal satisfaction than any dollar amount can ever add up to.

I choose to coach because it’s what I’m best at. I’ve been in every one else’s shoes before, and to a degree I still am. I’ve been scared, hurt, embarrassed, and felt like my life was out of control. Because I’ve been there, and because I’ve been on a constant journey to improve my self and my situation since, I’ve made it my life’s calling to build people up and help them fight to become their highest self.

This is why I coach.

1 Comment

  • Patti

    Reply Reply December 31, 2015

    So fabulous that we are able to be the benefactors of your elite “coach-molding” experience, painful though it’s been. Thank you for sharing!

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